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When can we begin to discipline our children? Many parents think that their babies cannot learn or follow certain rules and are relaxed about enforcing rules at home. When the child is 4 or 5 years old, he has taken control of the situation and changing his attitude or behavior is more complicated.Limits and discipline that we apply in the education of children must be adapted according to their age.
Discipline can be applied to children from the earliest stages and it is also the best so that there is harmony and order at home. In fact, all the psychologists with whom I have spoken tell me that in their practice the main problem they find between parents and children is the lack of discipline in children.
Discipline and limits for children from 0 to 2 years old
It is a stage of discovery, of exploration and curiosity. The challenge of getting around and doing things for themselves is enormous. At this stage, children are unaware of the danger, therefore, our work of discipline towards them must be focused on prevention to avoid accidents, both at home and in the park.
Tantrums or tantrums have to be controlled through comfort and, above all, distraction in the early stages and then we have to ignore them and not give in to "blackmail". We must minimize power struggles and always express what we expect of them without shouting. They are still young to use time out, but it does help to remove them from the situation to help them calm down.
We must not overstimulate them and we must encourage them to collaborate with us.
Limits and discipline of a 3- to 4-year-old child
They are already more independent and this fills them with pride, although in turn they have more desire to prove themselves. Anger or tantrums may be frequent. It is also the stage where they can get frustrated over little things.
We must set rules and limits, few and very simple. You can already understand that if you do something wrong, it will have a consequence. Therefore, we can apply the educational consequences. For this, we must warn them and explain what will happen if they misbehave, always giving examples because "misbehaving" is too broad a concept for them. The consequences must be short, concise and immediate, we cannot punish him for a whole day without television, but for a few minutes without playing.
Limits and discipline for 5-year-olds
They have gradually learned the consequences of their actions, therefore the sense of conscience emerges. They can follow the rules and even help with homework but it is normal that they try to push situations to the limit to get what they want. They can better control their impulses and tantrums, although they may have an outburst of anger on occasion.
We can begin to make them understand what empathy is, the effect that our actions have on others, teach them to put themselves in the place of the other. We must continue to apply educational consequences to wrongdoing. We can use the "time out" before a bad behavior or a tantrum.
How to discipline children ages 6 to 7
They are developing their social skills and are starting academics. Have to learn to self-control not only at home, but also at school. They must know that they do not have to hit, yell or annoy their colleagues, in short, learn to relate to their peers in a friendly way.
In this stage, children work better with positive reinforcement, that is, not only praising him if he does his homework or complies with what we ask him, but also giving small achievable rewards, for example, "When you finish all the tasks, we play together for a while to make constructions ".
We have to start apply discipline to children for prevention and not just to correct them, that is, find solutions to possible conflicts that may arise and not just reprimand him when he does something wrong. Keeping our word when we impose a consequence is essential to discipline children.
The limits for children from 8 to 10 years
At this stage, he must have already assumed what are the rules and limits that we impose at home, and at school his challenge will be to fit in with his group of friends.
Know the differences between what is right and what is wrong, but it is important that we maintain a dialogue about bad behavior, the child will want to argue. We will have to talk about what he did and try to find out why.
You will want to negotiate, avoid your tasks, and will sometimes be unmotivated. We can give you options if you want to negotiate, we will not do your tasks if you leave them unfinished and we will try to reinforce you to maintain the effort. The privileges will be for good behavior.
Children can be corrected positively and constructively, without threats or punishment. The important thing is that the child is made aware of all his attitudes. That the child is aware of what he has done wrong and that he tries to correct it himself. When you scold your child for something they did wrong, you should consider:
1. Wait for the right moment to get your child's attention
There are times when it is more convenient to wait to be alone and talk to your child. Do not scold him in front of others, neither brothers nor friends.
2. Focus only on your child's bad behavior and listen to him
Talk or scold him only for what he has done right now and not on past attitudes or mistakes. Don't get it confused. It is better to focus on the present, listen to everything he has to say, and chat only about what he has done in that moment.
3. Do not compare or build fears in your child
Comparing your child to his siblings or friends is totally inappropriate for the construction of his SELF. It can hurt your self-esteem and self-worth. Threats are also inadequate resources. They will only make children obey out of fear and not out of respect.
4. Don't yell or insult your children
You teach your children your anger but for this you do not need to make use of shouting or insults. You will only get the child to imitate you to resolve their conflicts. Yelling hurts their self-esteem, humiliates them, and they will lose trust in you.
5. Make use of firmness and consistency
For the child to know what you expect of him, it is necessary that any limit that you apply is firm and consistent. It is no good not to let him do something today and the next minute to let him do it. The child has to know what you expect of him, clearly, and without doubts.
6. Don't ignore or lose your cool
It is one thing that you get angry with your son for what he has done wrong, and another is to stop loving him. Even if you scold your child for something, you should never ignore it or take it away from your love and affection. Even if he misbehaves, he must always know that you love him and that you will always be there. Scolding or drawing attention to children is also a way of loving them.
You can read more articles similar to Table to apply discipline to children according to their age, in the category Limits - Discipline on site.