New Technologies

Test to know if you are phubbing your child and ignore him on the mobile


When it comes to the education of children, as much as we want to do it well, there is always something that eludes us and something new that surprises us, right? I had heard of the empty time (as opposed to quality time) that is spent with children, those times when you are with them but at the same time thinking about the thousand things that you still have to do. However, what I hadn't stopped to think about is the phubbing or nagging that is done to the childrenand the consequences it has on them.

Do you think you are free from this bad habit? The quick test that we propose below could tell you the opposite ... But first, let's know more about what phubbing or not kidding children is.

It turns out that the other day they told me that what I thought about this matter, it immediately caught my attention because I thought it was only a matter of adolescents and 'their rebellious stages' but the truth is that it is something that we cannot let go of. Many moms and dads are phubbing their kids, those they love the most in this world, without realizing it. If they don't even know they are doing it, how are they going to change these behaviors?

The ningufoneo, a word that has been adapted from the English term phubbing, is the fact that ignore the person next to you to give your phone your full attention. It is a concept that appeared in 2009, just when smartphones were beginning to become popular, and which is the product of the union of the English words 'phone' (telephone) and 'snubbing' (despise).

As explained in 'Phubbing. Connected to the Internet and disconnected from reality '(from Estefanía Capilla and Dr. Sixto Cubo, from the University of Extremadura, Spain), the link we have with technology and the way we use it changes our way of relating: with the family, with friends, with co-workers ... We spend more time connected to the Internet, which has caused the different technological devices to invade spaces where they were not previously. An example of this is the family: parents who, without realizing it, they ignore their children for spending more time with the mobile.

Do parents do something like this to their children? Do they use the mobile while ignoring them? Yes, and it is much more common than it seemsSo much so that almost no one seems to realize how serious it is and the negative consequences it has for family relationships.

New technologies are here to stay, in our lives and that of our children who will soon become pre-teens and demand to have their own smartphone. But this does not mean that that small device that accompanies us everywhere can steal time from us, the same time that we would have to spend with ours without thinking about anything else.

Correct me if I'm wrong but, with so much notification, don't you get the feeling that mobiles demand almost more attention than children themselves? We use the mobile phone as an alarm clock, camera, calendar, music player, agenda organizer, to read news, to send messages to friends, to posture, watch videos, use social networks, call from time to time ... With so much, it is not surprising that we have to have it on us at all times.

The psychologist Arturo Clairá explains that: 'One of the main benefits of ICT is that it brings us closer to those who are far away, but one of its dangers is that It takes us away from those who are closest to us.to'. And who are we closest to? Well, the children, that is where the mania arises of ignoring them completely to pay attention to the mobile screen, if you allow me the expression, the new silly box.

'No, no, I don't do that to my children.' Are you sure you don't do phubbing or nodding your kids? Let's check it out with this quick test. You just have to answer the following questions honestly, even if you don't like the answers.

1. Start the stopwatch, how many minutes do you look at your smartphone?

2. Do you unlock it even if there is no notification?

3. Do you get nervous if you don't have your cell phone nearby?

4. Do you use it with any excuse? Take a photo, look for a craft, see if they have responded in the chat ...

5. Do you ever turn it off? And at night?

6. Do you take it to the room when you are going to read them the good night story?

7. Have you ever told children to 'wait' to look at your cell phone when you really had nothing to look at?

8. When you go out to dinner, do you put your mobile on the table?

9. Do you tell your children to bring you your smartphone?

10. Do you use it as a form of leisure when the children are by your side?

If your answer to the first question has been 5 minutes or less and if several of the other answers have been affirmative, then yes, you are doing to your children just what you do not want them to do: stop communicating with those next to you by looking at your cell phone over and over again. Because it is the same, there are times that we have to use it and others that we look at it just to look, because if we do not do it we feel insecure and because it has created dependency in us; at least emotional dependency, I would call it.

Phubbing is one of the worst things you can do to your children, why? Well, because you stop communicating with them, giving them quality time; you make them feel insecure, that they have the impression that your smartphone is more important than them.

Because so much having the mobile phone in your hands also hurts you and because they, your children, will make the same use of the mobile as you, they will pass on their friends and their family for having fun with new technologies. By the way, according to the Stop Phubbing platform, almost 90% of adolescents prefer virtual contact to that of a lifetime. Don't you think some of the most alarming data?

Children copy patterns of behavior from parents and society in general, so if you want to avoid this, start with ...

- Leave the mobile from time to time in another room when you are enjoying the company of your loved ones.

- When you are with the children, use your mobile only the essential, if that call or that message can wait, wait.

- Set an appropriate timeFor example, when the little ones are in their time to see drawings, you can take the opportunity to read that news or make the video call that you had in mind.

- Set rulesThe first, nothing to use it during meals and in the moments in which you play with the children.

- Extra advice to avoid dependency caused by new technologies: turn off your device at night and do not use it before going to sleep, better take advantage of that little time to read a book or story to your children.

The smiles that are always true, the emoticons are not worth us. Now you know how to avoid phubbing or nagging your children. Don't take them away from your side for the world!

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