It's my birthday soon and I've decided to do something special. It's not that it's a round date - I'm not 44 at all - but I think I'm at a vital moment in my life where I need to do something for myself, so I've organized a weekend outing with a night out of home with my friends. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to travel without my husband and without my daughters. And, although I know that it will be difficult for me to disconnect from them and that I will keep them in mind in every step I take, I think that taking distance from the stress of day to day can be very good for me. You wonder why I do this, right? These are the reasons I need to take a vacation as a mother.
Still today, after a few years without having a baby of my own in my arms, I see myself in line in a store or in a restaurant bathroom swinging my body as if I were sleeping with one of my daughters. And it is that there have been so many hours without sleep, so many nocturnal walks, so many unsuccessful nap attempts that it already lives inside me. But it is not all. I don't know if it happened to you, but some days I wake up in the middle of the night because I think I hear my daughters cry when the one who is really crying uncontrollably is my neighbor's child.
I imagine (or not) that it will pass, but if not, I will get used to it. What I can't quite get used to is going out without my daughters, and that is being alone in a place without having to draw attention to anyone or without having to ask if they want to go to the bathroom or not to run or shout is another story.
For me, family is the engine of my life. It has been a fundamental pillar during my childhood and what I am, with my virtues and my defects, I owe it to my parents, but also to my grandparents and my aunt. All of them have given me everything I needed: LOVE. And that's the same thing that my husband and I are trying to pass on to my daughters so that they become healthy and happy adults, both physically and psychologically.
My life is my daughters, I would not change that for anything in the world, but my life is also me as a woman. For a while now I long for solitude and inner peace. I miss being bored, I want to get away from everything and isolate myself to reconnect with myself again. At first I thought it was the crisis of 40, but after reading, seeking information and exchanging opinions with other women in the same situation, I have come to the conclusion that I need to take a vacation as a mother or what the Americans have dubbed momcation.
I know that many mothers can judge me for this and that they will think, as I did before, that if you have children it is to take care of them and not to 'abandon them', that is why I want to explain to you why I have made this decision to take 48 hours of vacation.
1. Because motherhood is a full-time job
Who can work 24/7 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)? No one! And that's what motherhood is, because I don't know about you but I, even when I'm at work, I'm thinking about what the girls are going to have dinner or, worse, when I have a day off at home, instead of dedicate it to me, I start doing things related to home or family. Imagine, for a few moments, not having to think about someone else eating, sleeping, defecating, or learning for a few days. If that sounds like a dream come true, you may need a momcation.
2. Because my children will connect more with their father
My daughters are so 'obsessed' with me that many of my friends refer to them as koala girls, due to the fact that they are glued to me all the time. This means that the relationship between their father and them is not as strong and solid as mine, so I think spending two days together can be good for them to create more bonds between them.
3. To be missed
The little ones are going to be great and, even if you have your doubts, deep down in your heart you know that it is so. And just like you will miss them, they will miss you, and that's great! This fact will help them to develop such important virtues and values as gratitude and appreciation.
4. To feel more valued
How many 'invisible' things do you do per day? I mean these tasks that nobody sees and, of course, that nobody values. Taking a vacation as a mother can be an eye-opening moment for others to realize what role you play in the family.
5. Because my daughters need new learning
It may be only 48 hours, as is my case, but during this short period of time a lot of things will happen in you and in them, so do not be surprised that when you return you notice them different. And I'm not exaggerating! When you are not there, they will experience life in a different way, which will cause new learnings and discoveries.
6. Because I will miss 'bad habits'
They say that absence makes love grow. All those little irritations and mini annoyances that accumulate daily take on a different value when you move away from them and ... you even miss them!
7. It will allow me to return to my roots
You will take a trip back in time in which you will remember who you are, because with motherhood some women can lead us to forget that before we were mothers we were women. And you will do such simple things, but forgotten as laugh, observe, listen ...
8. For experiencing what it feels like to return home
How many days, after leaving work, have you thought that hopefully public transport will break down to take a little longer to get home? Or have you stayed in the car sending messages to your friends because you knew that if you went up you weren't going to have time? These thoughts will not appear in your head when you take a few days of vacation as a mother, because you will want to return to see your children and cuddle them in your arms. Reunions are wonderful!
I am about to take this step and I have to admit that it scares me. What I think about the most is the return and what I may feel, but I know that it is something I have to do and if I need it, it is that I have to carry it out!
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